Shadows and Dreams
by FaerieQueen3
Summary: It was beautiful, it was perfect, and that was why it had to be a dream.


_Howdy! This is just a sad, short one-shot, because my stuff has been way too happy lately...Because that doesn't sound masochistic at all - or is that sadistic? I think sadistic, I like making people read sad stuff. That sounds bad 0.0...ANYWAY, enjoy the story :-)!  
_

_xoxo  
_

_FairieQueen3_

* * *

"Daddy, look! Look what I found!"

The Doctor jumps, startled, and looks at the little girl looking up at him with a smile on her freckled face and an electric blue flower in her hand. _'Daddy?...'_

"Look-y, it changes colors!" As though on cue, the little bud shifted from shocking blue, to a gentle, creamy yellow. She laughed in delight. The Doctor decided that, whoever this little girl was, she had the loveliest laugh in the world. It was bright, with all the ring and hope of little girl dreams and wishes and cares and joys. He noticed that she was still looking at him, her brown eyes wide and shining, and it occurred to him that she was waiting for some sort of reaction out of him, something to tell her that her delight had merit - though nothing he could do would convince her that it didn't.

He stayed quite a moment longer before saying, "That's a lovely flower." She brightened all the more, and the Doctor felt himself grinning broadly along with her. Such a grin she had too, she stuck out her tongue a bit twisted her jaw just so. He knew that smile...

"What is your name?" He asked her.

She gave him a curious look before saying, "Cathica silly!" She whirled away, quick as a flash, running to and fro collecting various flowers and stopping every so often to twirl aimlessly, her infectious laughter becoming quite addicting. He had to know this girl somehow, she wouldn't matter _so _much otherwise, but he was sure he'd have remembered her. Oh, he was absolutely sure he would have.

Just then, he felt a pair of arms settle around his waist from his side, and he instantly felt warm all over. He wrinkled his brow at his own reaction and looked down. Who could it possibly?-

Rose. Oh God, _Rose. _

Smiling, no _beaming_, and at him, for_ him_ and Rassilon how he'd missed that smile. How he'd missed _her._

"_Rose,"_ Dare he say her name? He brushed his hand across her cheek softly, _so softly,_ just to touch her, just to know she was real. "Rose," He said again, this time firmer, more assured of her existence. She was here, and she was his, and Lord he'd _missed her._

"Hello there," she said, her tongue peeking out through her smile. That was all it took. He crushed her to him, holding her like a life-line, whispering apologies in her ear, telling her just how much he'd missed her. He could care less how she was there, what mattered at that moment was that she was _there._ Then he kissed her, kissed as he always wanted to, kissed her as he always should have. And it felt so _right._

When he pulled away - damning her lack of respiratory bypass all the way - she giggled and said, "Not that I'm complaining love, by why so desperate? You're acting as though you haven't seen me in ages."

That was his first real clue that there was something wrong. No, that's a lie; his first clue was not knowing how he had gotten there, his next clue was a little girl with a familiar smile, his third was Rose. This was his family, their family, the family the might've had but didn't, and Rassilon _it hurt._ He looked at her face, so happy, so young, but now with the slightest trace of worry. She was scared. _'Oh Rose, you don't even exist...' _Not this Rose anyway, not a Rose that could stay with him. Not a Rose he could kiss. Not a Rose he could hold, not anymore.

"Daddy? What's this flower called?"

He looked down at Cathica - _his daughter - _and saw now so many similarities that it made his heart stop. She had his hair, and Rose's smile, and his freckles, and her eyes, and she was just so beautiful, so perfect, and he could've screamed with how painfully his hearts were breaking.

"Daddy, are you okay?"

Why was the universe doing this to him; showing him a happiness, a timeline that he could never have? Hadn't he suffered enough, must he lose her twice? Must he lose their daughter that he had never hoped to have? Did he truly deserve this?

"Love?" He looked to his Rose, and for the first time noticed the ring on her hand. His Rose, his _wife_, and he still couldn't have her. He felt as though he was drowning, as though everything he had ever felt for her, everything that could have been everything they could have had was crashing down on him, smothering him with the cruelty of what was out of reach. Suddenly, he felt the familiar lurch of his mind being pulled from this timeline and back to his own. _'No, I'm not ready! A little more time, just give me a little more time...'_

She beckoned him down to her, his baby girl, and he was helpless to refuse her. She threw her small arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "I love you Daddy." Could they feel it too, these shadows of what could not be? Did they know their time was short?

Rose drew him up, and kissed him deeply, sweetly, lovingly. "I love you..."

* * *

The Doctor woke with a start and scrambled around himself, hoping for the smell of flowers, the sight of a small brunette girl, a happy blond woman... But there was nothing, himself, alone in the TARDIS.

There was no meadow.

There was no Cathica.

And there was no Rose.

And perhaps he deserved that.

* * *

_You know the drill, review, favorite, or just go away with hopefully a good read :-)._

_xoxo  
_

_FairieQueen3  
_


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